Little Red Riding Hood
by Freyr Nidhogg
Summary: Jr. wants to know about a certain Grimm tale. So they replay it. Fun story, nothing serious. Rated M for Albedo and implied actions.


**Fun story about Jr. and Co.**

Came to me, had to write it, no matter what, sorry!

Here's a greeting to the author Sedaytion, I just saw that Sedaytion used the theme "little red riding hood" too. Didn't see that before. Hope you are not mad at me. But it is hard to know about all (currently 808) storys from Xenosaga.

For the story:_ italic words are whispered_!

Don't own Xenosaga or characters from that game.

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><p><strong>Little red riding hood<strong>

**One shot**

Once upon a time there was a little boy with crimson hair and a red cape, so everyone who saw him would say: "Oh there is our little red riding hood!"

The young boy was known throughout the foundation and was loved by all. His father Dimitri always said that he should be careful when walking around, for a lot of bad men just waited for a cute boy to walk by.

One day there came a letter that the boy's brother was deadly sick and needed some nanotreatment and, if it would not be a bother, a bit of vine too.

That scared the father, for he needed his son to stay healthy and alive (well well obviously).

So the father immediately prepared a basket and told the small redhead to deliver it to his brother.

He said: "Stay straight on the way. No shortcuts or book-shopping allowed, or else the big bad wolf will eat you!"

The red riding hood didn't care. He just grabbed his guns and answered: "Old man I know, I know, if I see a pedophile I'll shoot him straight into the face!"

Pleased with his answer the father opened the door and let the boy out.

The way was a bit longer, so eventually little red riding hood got bored along the way: "If nothing happens soon, I'll have to die of boredom!"

This was overheard by the bad, white wolf that lingered infront of a puppet shop, that sold the newest girl-realians.

He followed the redhead and when no one was around anymore, he spoke to him: "Well, well, if that isn't my beloved little red riding hood. That cape your wear is just lovely! Now we really pass as twins." He proudly showed the boy his stainless, white cape.

"Albe- ehm I mean big, bad wolf, what do you want? My father wants me to shoot anyone that could go after my ass, err I mean would want to eat me!"

"No offense, I just want to have a little chatter with you. So where are you headed with your petite basket, my dear?"

"To my brother, he is sick and needs some medicine."

"Is that so?" The white wolf chuckled.

"The executioner to be executed by germs. How great a twist! Slaughtered by invisible creatures, unable to blind them with his charm, decaying before the can accomplish his mission, pathetic to…"

"_Hey Albedo, you're not sticking to the text!" – Jr._

"Oh, forgive me my red rose. Where was I? Right…" clears throat.

"Your brother is sick? Oh my, you should buy him a book or something, I'm sure that will enlighten his mood!"

"But my father told me…"

"Forget that old man! You know better what your brother needs! Look over there, isn't that a lovely bookstore? A few minutes wont hurt."

"O.k., o.k. but don't tell dad!" Little red riding hood went to the store and entered.

The white wolf grinned and quickly teleported himself to Gaignun's house.

"Heeellllooo the UPS-delivery man is here!"

Footsteps could be heard and then a red-nosed and feverish looking Gaignun opened the door.

"What the hell? Albedo what are you doing here?"

"_For now little baby, I am not Albedo but a wolf! Don't know what that is though. We do a weird tale-thing, or so I was told. Humanity seems to be as stupid as ever but I don't care as long as I have some quality time with Rubedo!" - Albedo _

The big, bad wolf grabbed the sick man, wrapped him tightly with a rope and muffled his mouth. Afterwards he pushed him into a wardrobe and closed the door.

The wolf wandered around, picked up some clothes, changed and went into the bathroom. There he dyed his hair pitch black and then waited for his red riding hood.

At that time, the boy was still in the bookstore.

"Wow, that are wonderful books. So ancient!"

"Jr. is that you? Nice to see you around! Looking for a new adventure book?"

"Hey Jin! Well, right now I'm not Jr., I'm little red riding hood. I'm in a cool tale, you know. Until now it's pretty interesting and no, the book is not for me, I need it for my sick brother."

"You really think Gaignun will like that? I don't know if he enjoys Dr. Who…"

"But it's about a Dr., right? So it fits right now!"

"No that's not correct, little red cape…!"

"_Little red riding hood!" –Jr._

"…or whatever!"

"_Jin!" –Jr_.

"_You can't expect me to remember such a stupid name by hearing it just once!" – Jin_

So the boy bought the book, ignoring the vendor, who tried to convince him that he was buying a children's book and continued on his way.

Finally he arrived at his brother's home and rang the bell.

The door was opened automatically and the redhead entered. The room was dark and it appeared that his brother was asleep inside the bed.

"Hey sleeping beauty, I brought you some medicine and other things."

The man inside the bed sat up and answered: "That's so nice of you, my dear brother, don't you want to come closer?"

"Good with me, but Gaignun why are your hands having claws?"

"To better hug you with!"

"Key, I won't ask that again but, hell, why are your eyes not green anymore but violet?"

"To better see you with!"

"What kind of answer is that! Man, what a stupid tale, really! Let's just end it here!"

"_We are not done yet. You still must ask about my teeth or something!"- Albedo imitating Gaignun's __voice_

"Whatever, why are your teeth…, wait a second, is that hair tinting lotion running down your head?"

With a cat-like jump the wolf caught his prey and wouldn't let it go till the next morning…

The blue haired, well built hunter finally rescued the little red riding hood by shooting the wolf several times in the head ("Target confirmed, initialize tertiary weapon systems!").

What just caused the white wolf to laugh manically after regeneration, but gave the red riding hood enough time, to free his highly distracted brother from the wardrobe (he had heard everything that night and even after several meetings with a psychiatrist couldn't forget those sounds) and escape onto the street.

And the moral from this story: there is none, no need to worry!

"_Seriously that is the end? Now I know, why I hate Grimm tales!" –Jr._

"_You wanted to know the story, I just did what my love asked me to!" – Albedo_

"_He didn't ask you to do such, such outrageous things with him!" – Gaignun_

"_Oh, are you jealous my baby brother?" – Albedo_

"_Heaven no! Because of you, I can't use my bed anymore. Just thinking about it…" – Gaignun starts crying_

"_Gaignun don't be sad, I buy you a new one." – Jr. hugs him and Gaignun calms down again_

"_Besides he liked it! Right my "little red riding hood"? Your moaning could have stirred up the entire neighborhood. Everyone knows __why__ we attracted Kosmos's attention." –Albedo chuckles after Jr.' s face turned red_

"_I'll kill him!" - Gaignun_

"_I liked it!" – Dimitri Yuriev_

And they lived happily ever after...until the fourth game was published.

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><p><em>Weird? Yes? :) Sometimes weird stories have to be written, I apologize. <em>


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